La Teteria teashop and café – Malaga

San Augustin, 9

I first stumbled upon La Teteria about five years ago when I was seeking solace from a massive rainstorm of almost tropical intensity.

I sat for hours by the door reading an amazing book, drinking tea and listening to the rain hammering onto the cobbled street just outside.

A lot has changed – despite being almost the same time of year to the day (eg first few days of January), the place is now as busy as hell. A good sign that the Spanish are embracing fine tea – which is a good thing.

La Teteria has a ginormous menu of teas from white, black, green teas, Chinese green teas, Japanese greens, reds, rooibos, teas from Taiwan, Moroccan teas, Indian teas, Pakistani teas, teas for depression, relaxation,constipation, coughs, colds and menstruation  – we’re talking vast. All of them are beautifully prepared in appropriate pots depending on your choice. Turkish teas arrive in small silver pots, oolongs in shallow ceramic pots etc. Divine.

They also do hot chocolates – huge hot chocolates – that you can have served with mint or paprika, should you be fighting back the urge to blow your own face off.

There is a breakfast (desayuno) menu and a small selection of baguettes  – a couple suitable for vegetarians.

They also have a selection of cookies and Moroccan sweets such as baklava. You an get arrested for wearing one of these in the UK. Another reason not to live there.

There are milk shakes, lassis, ice teas and matcha tea milk shakes.

They even have coffee – whatever the fuck that is.

There is free wireless internet, although I couldn’t find anywhere to plug in, despite crawling on the floor.

Woof. Oh yes, Sweep wants me to mention that there is also an outdoor section with lovely wooden tables. He likes this because it makes him feel welcome in a human world where he sometimes feels redundant and unappreciated.

At night candles make you feel so cosy you want to take your clothes off and get into bed.

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