I have a vague recollection of Torremolinos from a ZX Spectrum game in my youth. The cover had some gaudy looking postcard type artwork with caricatures of English holidaymakers with rolled up trousers and red and white spotted hankies on their heads.
Being so close to somewhere that conjured such horrific mental imagery in my youth we felt it would be rude not to visit, especially as our ten-years-out-of-date guide book said it’s such an awful and laughable place, so we trawled the beach road until we found ourselves a wild camp spot and prepared to drink in the horror of tourist mecca – Torremolinos.
Our wild camp spot was not glamorous so it fitted in well with the rest of the town. We parked on the seafront beside Hotel Puente Real; a 12 storey behemoth of cream, curves and crassness. I’m not here to review hotels thankfully and it may be a nice place, but while we’re in the mood to be uncomfortable with the surroundings let’s keep it straight.
There are no toilets as such and it would be difficult to take advantage of nature’s dunny so thankfully, on hand, there is Chiringuito El Espeto and Restaurante Pepe y Carmen, both of which have toilets and ‘washing facilities’ (a hand basin).
The sign at the entrance to the car park (because that’s what it is) says “Camping Prohibido” so like most places, try not to advertise yourself too much and make sure you put nothing outside the campervan that will give the police any reason to think you’re doing anything other than parking.
So, it is what it is; a gateway to exploring the brash exterior of Torremolinos. There are no frills here, it’s exposed and noisy but it is free and you’ll be joined by plenty of other campervans during your stay.
Our internet dongles worked very well and mobile signal was strong too. There are sea views and as palm trees sway in the wind, planes zoom overhead from Malaga’s airport.
Marks out of 10? Probably a five. A solid five though. It’s kind of grim but it is a free night or two near the beach. Can’t knock it for that.
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